Click here to download the catalog as a PDF file. To view this site you need Adobe Flash Player and your browser must allow javaScripts. Go here to get the latest Flash Player. Commander Gilmore One Part Gasoline, One Part Shop-Vac, Zero Parts Brains I t took a little while for fire officials in Des Moines to determine the cause of an explosion that seriously injured a man, blew out the windows and bowed the walls of one home, while damaging another. Finally, they determined that the victim and a friend had been cleaning a basement floor with gasoline, and then sucking up the residue with a Shop-Vac. We’ll give you a minute to stop laughing. The unburnt half of this dynamic duo, Ralph Touch, filled the authorities in, telling them the arrangement worked just fine until they were almost finished with the job. He was smart enough to step outside to the street for a smoke, and that’s where he was when The Big Ka-Boom just about blew him off his feet. His partner wasn’t so lucky, receiving serious burns over most of his body. Touch said the Shop-Vac was “almost full of gasoline” just before the blast. Apparently, before the explosion, Ralphie and his pal thought they had discovered a really cool and effective new way to clean dirty concrete floors. They probably wondered why no one thought of it before they did. Maybe somebody did — but didn’t survive to tell about it. Illustration by Nick Petrosino You know the economy is tanking when reports like this show up on the police blotter. In Georgia, a 27-year-old man told police he was only looking for a quick meal when he pulled into the parking lot at the local Wendy’s. However, two crime kings, bent on scoring big, approached him, both wearing black and looking sinister. One of the dastardly duo waved a gun, just like he’d seen on TV — ya, know, kinda gangsta style — and demanded the gent’s wallet. Being a smart fellow, Mr. Citizen complied, whereupon our dangerous twosome tore into the wallet, no doubt expecting a big payoff, and extracted one rather worn dollar bill. Frustrated, Bonehead and Clumsy departed in great haste. Georgia police are on the lookout. Police in Orem, Utah, responded rapidly to a frantic caller’s report that she was locked in her vehicle, the battery was dead, and she couldn’t get out! Was the 24 MARCH 2009 High-Stakes Crime Marvels Of Technology car on fire? Sitting on a railroad crossing? Sinking in a river? Ummm . no. When officers arrived, they found the lady was indeed locked in her car, but apparently in no greater danger than possibly missing an appointment with her hair stylist. First, they tried to talk to her through the closed window, but the sound-dampening insulation and sealing of her vehicle was so good they couldn’t understand each other. She gestured for them to call her cell phone. Once communications were established, an officer talked her through her “emergency.” First, he advised her to look closely at the driver’s door panel, right by her elbow. Then, amazingly, he guided her through the intricate process of using her finger to slide the manual “LOCK — UNLOCK” button to the “UNLOCK” position. She was freed! What an amazing story! And just think: the rescue process was completed without electronic assistance! So you think your records are a mess and you desperately need a new filing system? In mid-December 2008, the German government quietly admitted they had lost more than 300 files marked “Top Secret” and bearing the highest classification for secrecy and sensitivity. After reporters jumped on that little piece of news and repeatedly asked what those secret files generally concerned — military, political, public health information or whatever — the government finally answered. Those files, they said, were so secret that no one they could find in government knew what was in them. All they knew is that the files were gone, and although no one knew what was in ’em, the materials would not have been classified so high if they weren’t of “considerable significance.” Gee, I hope nobody was supposed to press a “Stop Something” button, but now they won’t know they have to do it. 9 Really Top, Top Secret Read SI DIGITAL www.shootingindustry.com