Click here to download the catalog as a PDF file. To view this site you need Adobe Flash Player and your browser must allow javaScripts. Go here to get the latest Flash Player. By Commander Gilmore Guide For For Grand Grand Adventures Adventures Guide At SHOT Show what we mean. The first thing you notice upon entering your “suite” are two taped outlines of supine humans on the floor, accented with dark stains. This is a solid indication that the room hasn’t been cleaned since that double homicide last month. The second thing you notice is your room is only called a “suite” because a past tenant hacked his way through an adjoining room’s common wall with a fire ax — which is still in the room. We recommend you perform a few tests before signing the registration card or handing over your credit card. First, check and assure your room’s door is locked. Then, simply grab the doorknob and give it a good pull. If the entire door frame shudders and falls out in billowing clouds of mold and plaster dust, insist on another room. It’s wise to also check the toilet. Hit the flush Commander Gilmore, High-Esteemed Author Of “Back Blast,” Shares His Trade-Show Wisdom! O kay, let’s get right to it. We don’t have a lot of time, so grab a pencil and pad and take notes. These pearls (perhaps, perils) of wisdom come from attending 456 SHOT Shows. Yeah, I know there have only been 30, but it seems like 456. Probably for you, too. An absolute requirement for enjoying SHOT Show is having a clean, quiet, wellappointed hotel room within reasonable strolling distance from the convention center. If you have not yet made reservations, you likely are outta luck. However, Benny, a “life camper and professional outdoorsman,” rents out empty refrigerator shipping boxes under the U.S. 95 overpass. Amenities are limited; showers are available during rainstorms. Ah, you booked a bargain hotel several miles away, say a halfday cab ride away. You’re doomed. You may know lever and jump back out of the room to observe what happens through the doorway. Toilets should flush down, not up. Then, remove your belt and flog the bed with it. The high-pitched squeaking of disturbed rodents is a bad sign. Finally, if your hotel claims to be “close to the convention center,” find it on a map. The hotel management didn’t say which convention center, did they? Listen, I know the SHOT Show maps have improved over the years, and yes, we like the one inserted in this issue, but we prefer a better navigation technique. Use a GPS unit, and base all your distances and directions from the New Product Center. You’ll know it when you see it — or rather, when you don’t see it. It will be an area about half a football field in size, blocked from view by wriggling masses of humans. Don’t even try to squeeze Navigating SHOT Show 84 Read SI DIGITAL www.shootingindustry.com • SHOT SHOW EXTRA SUPER ISSUE 2009