Click here to download the catalog as a PDF file. To view this site you need Adobe Flash Player and your browser must allow javaScripts. Go here to get the latest Flash Player. Commander Gilmore “Oh, Yeah. You Got It Going On. Good Lookin’!” ost cops only dream of getting evidence like this. On a train near Bromley in England, a mugger approaches three teenagers and demands that one of them hand over a bracelet he’s wearing. Apparently, it was a good fit and he liked the style because then, noticing the kid has a matching necklace, he demands that too. The teens briefly consider voicing objections, but the mugger whispers bittersweet nothings about the big knife in his pocket, like, “You don’t want me to use this,” and the trio gets very quiet and cooperative. The mugger puts on the necklace, peers down his nose at it, and then starts looking all around for a mirror so he can check out how cool he looks wearing his new jewelry. Hey, there’s one! It’s kinda on the small side, but oh well. He steps up to the “mirror,” leans in close, and for approximately 15 seconds he smiles and admires his reflection. At the train’s next stop, he exits, reminding the kiddies they really didn’t see anything. But, in fact, lots of people see lots of things — on digital video. Yep, the “mirror” was the wide-angle lens of the surveillance camera, which caught the whole encounter, and then, for the grand finale, captured excellent close-ups of the “star” of the video. He’ll probably get to see reruns of that flick — while he’s on trial. Illustration by Nick Petrosino M Note to self: buy lots of turtleneck sweaters. Yeah, that’s probably what Aaron Evans, 21, jotted down after his surprising arrest for auto theft in Bristol, England. It should have occurred to him that finding an unlocked, easily hot-wired little sedan just sittin’ kinda lonely on a high-crime street was a bit unusual, but his occupation was not listed as “rocket scientist” when he was booked. The vehicle he stole was a “Covert Capture Car,” planted there by police, and it was equipped with tracking devices and a CCTV camera. Even with the tracking devices working against him, he might have gotten away — but the surveillance camera clearly caught an interesting tattoo on Aaron’s neck. It is his name and date of birth. That kinda tattoo might help with the identification of his remains sometime, but it’s not a real good move for a budding career criminal. Maybe he should consider having another tattoo inked over it, perhaps some heavy rope — tied in a noose. 48 Identifying “Marks” They say we only catch the stupid ones. But you gotta admit, we sure catch lots of ’em! Yeah, guys like John Wilkinson, a wannabe armed robber and druggie who was so scared of having his car stolen that he got himself popped for armed robbery — and a cap popped in him for stupidity. On a recent sunny day in Stanton, Texas, 24-year-old Wilkinson pulled up outside the town’s drugstore, grabbed his weapon off the seat and — leaving the engine running for a quick getaway — carefully locked the doors. He then strode into the drugstore, where he gave clerks a peek at his “submachine gun” — a caulking gun wrapped in a dark cloth. We guess it looked convincing enough because he got what he demanded: a sack full of Xanax and hydrocodone giggly pills. It was only when he came skiddin’ up to his getaway sled that he remembered, uhhhh. The ignition key he needed to unlock the door was the same key he had left in the, ummm. ignition. The car rumbled happily. Wilkinson made little squeaky- Criminal Caulkery! chokey noises, most unhappily. Then, as screaming sirens closed in, he ran, leading Stanton’s Chief of Police, Mike Adams, on a less-than-merry foot-chase down bicycle-strewn alleys and through weedy lots until Adams cornered him at gunpoint. Having established a solid string of stupid acts, Wilkinson couldn’t resist adding one more: He jumped up and advanced aggressively on Adams, who was ’bout close enough to bore-sight the idjit. Reluctantly, but resolutely, Adams pulled the trigger. Wilkinson was treated for a shoulder wound and forwarded to county jail, charged with aggravated robbery and maybe Criminal Caulkery, if such a charge exists. It ought to, just for comic relief. Police dispatch in North Wales, UK, received a phone call from “a very anxious gentleman” who feared Britain may be under attack by extraterrestrials. He reported a “large, bright, stationary object” Continued on page 51 • SHOT SHOW EXTRA SUPER ISSUE 2009 Dumbest Police Call Read SI DIGITAL www.shootingindustry.com