Click here to download the catalog as a PDF file. To view this site you need Adobe Flash Player and your browser must allow javaScripts. Go here to get the latest Flash Player. Commander Gilmore Perhaps It’s Something In The Water! e at Gilmor mander om m .c o o C o ff@yah E-mail astStu BackBl T he next time you’re fed up with the demands of being a gun dealer, don’t even consider taking what you imagine is a peaceful and tranquil night-clerk job at the Travelodge out on Route 4. The motel chain recently reported that their biggest emerging problem is — naked sleepwalkers. “Well, now,” you might be thinking, but calm down — virtually all of the night-strollers are middle-aged men. Travelodge corporate headquarters claims a 700percent increase in incidents involving naked, sleepwalking guests taking outta-their-room tours in the past year alone, totaling over 400 cases. Many of them, the report said, wander naked to the reception desk where they will either ask for a newspaper or say they want to check out. One nude wanderer was accidentally locked outside and only woke up when police tapped him on the shoulder. We think it was his shoulder. Whatever. Travelodge has launched a national program to train employees on how to deal with sleepwalkers “creatively and compassionately” so they’ll be happy return customers. Oookay! So, forget that change-of-career plan. Just envision a few of your customers naked, and you’re supposed to “gently accommodate his needs, preserving his dignity” until he wakes up. Personally, we think this nationwide phenomenon is really the same seven guys who travel a lot, and they’re not really sleepwalkers — they just enjoy frolickin’ around naked. Illustration by Nick Petrosino Slim Pickings Between tough clerks and tougher customers, Subway’s been makin’ life difficult for wannabe bandits lately. In Pittsburgh, three attempted robberies in less than a week netted a pittance of chump change and disappointing experiences for the suspects. In the first case, a masked robber peeped into the tip jar on the counter, snorted at the small change in it and demanded that employees open the cash register. When they simply refused, like, “No! We’re not gonna, get it? So, go away!” he angrily threw the tip jar on the floor and stomped away in a huff. In the second, a suspect pointed a revolver at a clerk and demanded money, but the clerk was so nervous he couldn’t get the cash register open, and the suspect didn’t know how to open it either. Then he ordered a female customer to give up her purse and she refused, clutching it tight. Finally, he threatened a male customer and demanded he give up his wallet, which only had a few dollars in it. The guy said he wouldn’t give it up unless the robber promised to mail it back to him. The suspect ultimately promised, cross his heart, that he would pop the wallet, complete with photos and ID, into the U.S. Mail in a timely manner. He reaped about two bucks outta his crime spree. The third heist was a classic. The armed stickup man got his sequence of events out of order, and clonked the clerk on the head with a pistol before ordering him to open the register. The clerk, who had little tweety-birds and stars circling his head, was too stunned to open the drawer. Our Crime King then pointed his gun at a male customer and told him to hand over his wallet. Again, the customer refused. Mr. Big Shot Bad Guy left empty handed. Duplicate Parchment So, you think too much paperwork and too many regulations are a product of modern times? Think again. There’s new evidence that it’s always been that way! Historian Hubert Erzmann, 75, unearthed a 600-year-old book of recipes for Thuringian sausage — the oldest bratwurst recipe known — and got an added bonus: a still-legible record of complex laws, fines and mandatory inspections for merchants making and selling sausages. The bundle of inked parchment, found in Weimar and dated 1432, details the makeup of local sausage inspection committees, standards for judging the beef, pork and relative mixtures of ingredients used, and the process for levying of fines of 24 pfennigs a day for violations of the code. You couldn’t even escape government regulation in the Middle Ages, but at least today you can go home and catch the Monday night game on TV. 9 Got a humorous, weird or silly tidbit you'd like to share with the rest of the shooting industry? Then send it to Commander Gilmore at BackBlastStuff@yahoo.com. The snail-mail address is: Back Blast, Shooting Industry magazine, 12345 World Trade Drive, San Diego, CA 92128. If Commander Gilmore uses your material, you could receive a free one-year subscription to American COP magazine, or some other prize or nothing — but you'll still be famous. Let's hear from you! 22 FEBRUARY 2008 WWW.SHOOTINGINDUSTRY.COM