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GUNS Magazine June 2011 Digial Edition - Page 8
• C L I N t S M I t h • P h O t O S : h E I d I S M I t h • “We’re going to the mountains! We’re gettin’ outta here!” Jed Eckert, Red Dawn, 1984. fter many years we have sort of a standard joke here A at the ranch. We are removed from much of the mass humanity of the big cities, with the house and range being at 5,500' in the mountains of southern Oregon. Being somewhat remote, we often hear, “Man, if it goes south, like real Armageddon, I am going to the mountains to get away from the city and hide out!” Well, this is funny after a fashion and even funnier now as there is a YouTube gig where sort of South Park-like characters talk of “going to the mountains.” Bluntly, it is hilarious and even more so because I have said these exact words to many students over the years. They come up with the “going to the mountains” and my response is “man have you ever been in the mountains? Especially in the winter?” With images of the Wolverines from Red Dawn in their head, I issue a smiling but firm reminder: perception vs. reality in this case is a big deal— and dangerously misleading. So even if you “go to the mountains,” assuming the roads are open, your cell phone, GPS and other electric “GoinG to the MOUNtAINS!” far. And motorcycles? Remember, as they say in Texas, “Y’all be mindful of all them there cables strung across the roads.” Yeah, bike guys are going to be in for a shock when they “go South or North” because many who live in the mountains plan on obstructing the easy routes of travel like forest roads, paths, trails and so forth, or it could seem that way to the fledging wannabe Wolverines. Just Kidding! OK, we’ve had some fun and you can decide how serious this all is. There are a couple of things you should know about the mountains—I mean since you’re coming to live here and all. junk will not work. Which, if it “goes south” is probably OK, as all that crap will simply point someone to your location. That will be a bad idea since you are going to the mountains to hide, right? I’m pretty sure all that stuff will be down eventually anyways, the batteries will die or the satellite systems will be shut off by the remaining entity in charge of the new rodeo. Anyways, you need something to haul all your junk to the mountains and, since it is the mountains, eventually you will run out of roads so you’ll want to be able to pack all your stuff into the mountains to your retreat. Remember: “pack in” like on your back in a pack. So cars, trucks, etc. are a good deal as they carry lots of stuff, but only so Guns In really crappy cold weather, your black AR will not work as you might hope. This is because your city-like lube will be in trouble here in the mountains when it is like 0 degrees outside for nearly all of January and most of February— maybe even March and April, which will be better but really wet because it rains a lot in the mountains, but I digress. The rifle (personal experience and tested information from a very knowledgeable mountain man John Noveske) has proven the use of a medium/light oil on the bolt/carrier and action spring in cold weather. When it does warm up (if you live through the mosquito hatch) and the weather becomes more moderate This photo is not out of focus, the blowing wind and snow of your new mountain home makes life difficult—and cold. Staying low is important. Staying warm maybe another thing. 8 WWW.GUNSMAGAZINE.COM • JUNE 2011